My Karma ran over your Dogma

Everyone has them. You know what I'm talking about; those weeks you would rather skip entirely rather than try and live through them. For me, it's because of finals that are right around the corner. The pressure is getting to me, but at the same time, I'm just antsy to get them over with and getting to relax over Thanksgiving break.

There are some lessons that everyone learns in their life; how to brush your teeth, how to make your bed, these are things that all people have in common. Then there are those lessons that some people still haven't learned: how to deal with that bully. What half of the people don't seem to understand is the fact that bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Advice to all of you out there who have or are dealing with bullies, first, they never go away. Second, as hard as it is for you, continue to be the bigger person. Sooner or later, someone will acknowledge it, and you will be thankful that you never let those secret thoughts of their demise overpower you. That is what Wii Boxing is for! :) And when you're still having a hard time dealing with it, just think about karma. Whether you believe in it or not, I do. I'll be the first to say it, Karma's a bitch.

"The world will tell you who you are until you tell the world." "Shout it to the skys and don't be ashamed. Tell everyone else to step off and let you live your life. If other people control your life you can really never be yourself. Don't let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. Ask out the cute guy in your class. Try out for a sport you've never played. Scream loud and laugh hard. Be stupid. Be really weird. Wear those jeans that you've had since 7th grade. Shop at hot topic rather than hollister (or vica versa). Tell yourself you are gorgeous. Just don't listen to what people think. Make new friends. Stick up for your friends. Tell your old friends that you like the girl who wears all black and the cheerleader. If they don't accept that then they aren't your real friends. Just live your life they way you want it lived. Make your life your own and make it great."

I got this from a friend. Every woman, and man, to have confidence, has to believe in themselves. They can't rely on other people or things to make them confident. Yes, I know, those material things like that brand new phone or the amazing necklace you got for your birthday can make you feel beautiful or handsome, but deep down, where it really counts, it doesn't make you confident. To be confident, you have to believe in yourself, and find joy in your strengths. If the only way you can make yourself feel confident is by telling yourself that you're gorgeous every morning, do it. Find your talents and expand them...use them. Have a backbone, live you life the way you want to. Even if that means picking up and leaving the country...do it.

Yes, your family and your friends have influence on who you are and who you become, but if you really think about it, who really has the last word on how you turn out to be? See, I see myself as a paint-by-number painting. Each thing that happens my way, that has made an impact on me, has left a mark...a streak of paint. Each happening is a different color. I hope and pray that by the end of my life, every single number that has made up my painting has been filled...painted in by color. Do you want your painting to be white in spots, where no paint has been brushed, or colored outside the lines because there's not enough room to hold the color?

So school has started. Most people would be groaning at the thought of sitting in a classroom for 8 hours a day, while I on the other hand, look forward to it. My summer was less than organized. I was taking two classes, and a job at the school as an Orientation Assistant. I was at the school almost every day between studying for exams, or actually doing work. Normally I would think I was crazy for wanting to go back to school. I don't think it's that so much though, as the idea of being on a normal schedule.

Life on the other hand has been pretty busy. I have learned that I LOVE making paper airplanes, swinging on the swings, playing hopscotch, and using my imagination. Most 20 year olds I think lose the ability to use theirs because they never put themselves in situations where they would need it.

Just....just remember what it was like when you were 5 years old and you were just learning to make paper airplanes, and going to the park was the highlight of your day. If you do this, and realize how important the little things are, your life will be good.

"I don't have ADHD, I just...Do you like waffles?

So much has been going on lately. I'm not sure what to do with all the information that's come in, when it seems too soon to let the not-so-new stuff go.  School is coming to an end, like at the moment I'm supposed to be finishing up a lab report that is due tomorrow afternoon...as you can tell, I'm not.  It's as though everyone has senoiritis

, yet, we aren't seniors.  We are however, approaching summer, and that I believe is what is really behind it.  It's a madhouse at school lately, and with finals and projects all closing in, it's the last place I wish to be.  

Besides school though, other stuff has been going on.  The usual, friends getting ready to apply to other schools for transfer, and not wanting to say goodbye. Feeling out of place or like you're not wanted in certain groups of 'friends' and so on.  It's frustrating to me, because I just need to get this stress off my mind and it feels impossible to do sometimes when you don't feel as though you have a good support system behind.  Today for example, I went over to someones house and it was fun, relaxing even though I don't know them all that well, but it's so weird, because you're still learning about the person, trying to figure each other out, yet, it's as though you just have to accept that fact and move on.  That may not make a bit of sense to you, but it makes perfect sense to me.   I just wished I had more friends around that seemed to understand me, accept me for who I was, and actually reciprocated the friendship.  I guess what I'm saying is that I wish that I could see a friendship outlast a semester.  I'm started to loose faith in this though, and that bothers me.   

I'm stuck on this bio report...it's my least favorite subject...........................

It has been forever since I wrote on here.  School is okay, midterms, 'nuf said.  Due to the fact that midterms are here, I have been a constant sight at my local Starbucks.   I don't know about you, but I love those THE WAY I SEE IT things on the back of the cups.  A couple weeks ago, I found one that just really, made me see things in a different light. 

"There is a subtle difference between a mission and a promise.  A mission is something you strive to accomplish--a promise is something you are compelled to keep.  One is individual, the other is shared.  When a mission and a promise are one and the same...that's when mountains are moved and races are won." ~Hala Moddelmog

I'm not sure what it is about this particular thought, but I'm the type of person who doesn't make a promise that I won't/can't keep.  This just renewed my hope that there are other people out there that feel the same.  :)

It has been a full week since school started.  I have been to all of my classes, and so far, enjoyed them.  I am looking forward to this semester, and I hope that I can keep the goals I have for myself within reach. 

I've been doing some thinking lately...I know..haha, that's not always good...but in all honesty, I'm not sure what I want to do with my life. I don't know where it's going to go. I don't know who I am going to become.  And, as strange as it may seem, I'm okay with the idea of not knowing.   For those of you who do know me, you know that I'm, for lack of a better term, a control freak.  I'm okay for not having control over this part of my life.  I'm actually more curious as to see where it might lead me...if it will lead me onto a path of something that I love to do, and that will sustain my living expenses. Enough about me though.

Tomorrow is a historical day.  Many of us never thought that we would ever get a chance to see an African American become president; some never wanted to.   I am excited to see how he does as our next president.  I am a little weary, not because of the color of his skin, he's a human being and that's all I really care about, but more along the lines of his experience.  That was, I think, the main reason that people did not vote for him; because of their concern with his lack of experience within the Senate and the government in general.  Yes, it is a bit disconcerting, but I have faith in him that he will do the best that he can with the cards that have been dealt to him.  George W. Bush did not leave a very good hand to Obama in life's poker game.  We are still at war, the economy is in a crunch...we're not in a good place.  I just think that people, no matter how you voted in the election, should realize, and remember, that it will take time.  So have patience, and show your support for our president, because by doing that, you're showing support for your country.

Okay, politics aside, for all your brave souls going to our Nations capital tomorrow to bear witness--think warm thoughts!!!! :D

School is supposed to start tomorrow. This is something that I look forward to as much as I almost dread.  This blog always seems to be alot about school. As you may be able to tell, it's pretty much my life...  I don't mean that in a bad way, I guess I just hope that all my hard work will pay off one day. 

Life has been interesting lately for me though.  I work full time during the breaks, and this time, I was able to catch up with a coworker and friend that I hadn't seen since the summer.  I really enjoyed her company and the fact that we're the same age is a definite plus.  We kept our office, which is mostly manned by people our parents age and older, livelier with our sarcasticness and our laughing fits.  Though both of us were challenged by  a new addition to the office, I believe that we both handled the situation quite well.  

Over all, I think this break went very smoothly and pleasantly by.   I wish for each of you, a wonderful day, and the confidence and willpower to continue to follow your dreams.